


OT6 Fanfiction.

by jooniwi



Category: Ziggy Sol and dem yicker babes
Genre: Anna's favourite word is cunt, Beth and Nikita are Ninjas, Caitlin is a sensei, Ezekiel is a pimp, Ezekiel never gets invited to the cinema, F/F, F/M, Garath is a gay, M/M, PseudoThreesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:58:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10192469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jooniwi/pseuds/jooniwi
Summary: Fanfiction about the best poly relationship on the planet: Nikita, Gareth, Ezekiel, Anna, Beth and Caitlin.





	1. Caitlin/Gareth - Sex and not much else

**Author's Note:**

> Ezekiel is weird (and never invited to the cinema)

"I am Caitlin, and I am asexual." She said after sex.  
Garath cried and killed himself.  
Caitlin set off in search of better friends.  
Ezekiel was just sad because he was left out of this fanfic.


	2. Caitlin/Nikita - The breakup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikita offers Caitlin 5p. Will Caitlin take it?

Once upon a time, there were a couple of girls called Caitlin and Nikita. Although Nikita was already married (to Beth, who was a binch) she had Caitlin as her mistress. They were in a line at a cafe buying sandwiches when this happened. 

"What do you want, bae?" Nikita said sexily.  
"I want a sandwich, but I don't have enough." Caitlin cried.   
"Here." Nikita said, offering her 5p.   
"No! I owe enough!" Caitlin rejected.  
"FUCKIN' TAKE IT!!!!!" Nikita raged.

Caitlin stared at her angrily and walked off, whilst Nikita cried over the loss.   
Meanwhile, Ezekiel just watched, because he was so sad and lonely and nobody loved him. Caitlin might say Kieran did, but he didn't.


	3. Charizards and Spontaneous Combustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terrible as always. If you are easily offended, then man up, it’s a tough world.

So, we were all sitting around the table in the canteen in college as usual in the morning. Then, Gareth came in and he looked like he had some news to tell us.  
“Attention, gays.” He started. “And Ezekiel. I have some news to tell you.” (Told you).  
We all looked at him curiously (bicuriously LOL no not really).  
“I’m going out with a boy who is also called Gareth.” We all applauded his news.  
Then, at dinner, we were all around the table again and Gareth banged his head down on the table.  
“What the fuck’s fucking wrong, motherfucker?” fucked Anna.  
“I hate my new boyfriend, he’s so annoying.” Gareth moaned.  
“Then why the fucking fuck are you fucking going out with him?” Anna fucked again.  
“Well, he gives me good charizards.” We all looked at him weirdly (if you don’t know what one is, Google it, you’ll see).  
Then, after college, I was walking in town (outside Supernews), when I saw Anna on a driving lesson. I heard her before I saw her because I could hear many swear words in the background.  
Suddenly, she crashed her blue car into Wilko’s, and although her instructor, the car and the shop were all okay, Anna was not, and she blew up.  
The next day, everybody was over Anna’s death, and just before the bell for first lesson went, Sarah came in. She had a bitchy look on her face as always.  
“Attention gays,” Sarah said. “And Ezekiel. I have decided I hate all women apart from myself because they are evil and they must be destroyed.”  
Beth got triggered and, over her glasses, shot her a look that registered her disapproval, which made Sarah blow up.  
And that’s kind of the end of the story, but I feel bad that Nikita wasn’t in this one (apart from the group scenes, but she wasn’t mentioned), so here’s a non-canon part just for her.  
Whilst Ezekiel was in town observing Anna’s death, Nikita was at home, writing all her feelings down in her secret journal. But I’m not a good enough writer to give my characters feelings, so you’re not getting any of them from me. Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets in the form of a review.


	4. Ninja Fanfic Dream Sequence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a dream I had which fits into an as yet unpublished AU fic where Beth and Nikita are gay Ninjas, Caitlin is the sensei, Ezekiel is a pimp and Anna is an assassin. Gareth isn’t in it because he’s dead (if for some reason you haven’t, read chapter one, it’ll make sense).

“Now, if you will excuse me, I have business to do.” The Sensei said, and left the girls to their sexy Ninja business.  
In reality, the Sensei’s business was one of a most disrespectful nature. Over the past four years, she had been borrowing money from a local pimp called Mr Thorp. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t let her have any more money until he was invited to the cinema, which was never going to happen, so she decided to break into his mansion and steal his fortune.  
11pm, and the Sensei was in. She’d done her research, and knew that he kept all his pennies in his TARDIS money box. As she approached the magical box, she heard a noise behind her. She turned around.  
There was nothing there. Then, she looked down a bit to see a young female aiming a gun in between her breasts.  
“Any last words?” the stranger asked in a clichéd manner.  
“Who the fuck are you?” the Sensei asked, triggered.  
“I’m Anna.” She started.  
“Isn’t it pronounced ‘Ar-na’ now?” the Sensei sassed.  
“Fuck you!” Anna spat. “I’ve been personally employed by Ninja Beth and Ninja Nikita to kill you if you try and steal Mr Thorp’s fortune because, unlike you, they appreciate him.”  
Suddenly, they both heard footsteps coming from the stairs. It was Mr Thorp! He was dressed in a fluffy dressing gown.  
“Sorry.” He said when he saw the girls were in the middle of something.  
“Tell Anna to stop being mean to me!” the Sensei begged.  
“Okay. Sorry.” Mr Thorp responded.  
“Stop fuckin’ saying you’re fuckin’ sorry!” Anna shouted.  
“Sorry.” He responded meekly.  
“Right, you’re in for it now!” Anna grinned.  
She produced a collapsible crowbar from down her bra, and proceeded to beat the home owner with it. He cried out in pain, and occasionally mumbled ‘sorry’ through his bloodied mouth.  
The Sensei thought it would be funny to exacerbate things, so she leant in close to Anna’s ear and said:  
“You know, he’s really into this.”  
Anna got triggered, and the beatings got harder. On the plus side, this would be really good for her beat exam, so she could beat her beat exam stress.  
As this continued late into the night, the Sensei swiped the box of coins and smuggled it down her lady parts, and returned to see how the Ninjas were doing.


	5. The OT6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all have sex together....
> 
>  
> 
> or do we

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "When Ezekiel wrote this, he included names of teachers, meaning I had to cut them out or edit.  
> He also wrote a short paragraph about me lusting over my history teacher, which I cut out...  
> thanks Ezekiel...  
> I hate you." ~ Caitlin

Ezekiel's POV

On one perfectly ordinary morning, I was sitting around the canteen table with my closest friends, and Gareth. However, none of us would suspect this morning would turn into such an unusual day...  
Caitlin came in, their face the epitome of unhappiness. Beth and Nikita shot concerned glances at each other, whilst Anna had that look on her face which suggested she was going to either swear or make a joke.  
“Are you okay?” Beth said, tapping Caitlin’s shoulder lightly.  
“No.” Caitlin grunted. “I want to die!” She let her head flop down onto Gareth’s shoulder, and he awkwardly patted it.  
“Is it *shitty english teacher’s name*?” Nikita asked in a motherly tone.  
“Of course it is, the motherfucking motherfucker!” Anna swore.  
“No” Caitlin disproved. “It’s just...it sounds daft.”  
“It’s okay, we’ll listen.” Gareth comforted, proceeding to gently stroke Caitlin’s soft hair.  
“It’s just...I’m really horny.”  
We all looked at each other uncomfortably, and everybody soon proceeded to look at me to make sure I didn’t laugh. I did not, as even I could tell this would be an inappropriate situation in which to laugh.  
“Not like that!” Caitlin broke the silence. “As a friend, yugi! As a FRIEND!”  
“I don’t get it,” Nikita said. “How can you want sex with a friend?”  
“Not sex,” Caitlin responded. “I’m as asexual as...well, Beth. I just want to be loved.”  
“We love you,” Beth said, throwing Gareth’s arm from Caitlin’s head in something resembling jealously and put her own arm around Caitlin’s shoulder.  
“No you don’t.” Caitlin let her tears drip silently onto Bethany’s emo shoulder.  
“Yes we do,” Beth comforted. “We’re an OT6-we do everything together and love each other equally. We even love Ezekiel, and he hasn’t said anything this episode!”  
“Can I just point out this makes no sense?” I whispered.  
An idea struck Caitlin. “You know-maybe sex...”  
I giggled.  
“Maybe COITUS wouldn’t be such a bad idea...”  
“How the fuck’s that going to work?” Anna seemed disgusted. “Ezekiel’s not gay, Gareth is, I think you’re all ugly as fuck, and Beth and Nikita have their own FanFic to have sex in!”  
“We can imagine we’re all somebody we find really attractive.” Gareth suggested. “You’re going to be politicians to me. Theresa May and Boris Johnson really get it up high.”  
“You’re all going to be Doctor Who companions,” I said.  
“You’re all going to be Batman,” Nikita said.  
“How can we all be Batman?” Anna was confused.  
“Not the same Batman!” she said, triggered. “West, Lego, Clooney, Keaton and Kilmer!”  
“You’re all going to be doggos,” Beth said. “They’re as sexy as frick.”  
“But what about zig?” Caitlin said. “He’ll be scared of himself.”  
“He should be grateful we’re letting him join in.” Beth shot me an angry look.  
“You’re all going to be cats to me.” Anna giggled. “No reason.”  
“Wait, are we actually going to do this?” Anna was concerned.  
“Why not?” Beth offered. “We’re all free this afternoon. It’s this or *shitty english teacher’s name*.”  
At the mention of the name, all sexual appetite dissolved, and so our little ménage au trios (x2) never happened-but if you read our fanfics and really ship us, you can at least be happy in the knowledge that it almost did.


	6. Bethany goes to Gabbots.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth goes to Gabbots. Based off real life events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabbots is a place locally where they sell meats and chips and you can get these really nice salt and pepper chicken nuggets.

It was a day unlike any other, although Beth did not know this when she woke up. For her, the day would end in coitus, but not with Nikita as it always did.  
She was in Gabbots when a man said to her "Alright love, what do you want?"

He winked at her and although beth was asexual, she felt passion inside her she had never had before.  
"Your babies." Beth answered after a pause. She took the man by his head and snogged him passionately. Then she leapt over the counter and was about to perform unspeakable things to him when...

"Beth!" Nikita was there. She stared at the man angrily and took Beth home by the ear to give her a good telling off.


	7. Caitlin gets their revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin wrote this to get revenge on Ezekiel for making them lust over their history teacher in a fan fiction. However. Ezekiel read this and immediately ran home to masterbate. Oh dear.

Ezekiel wasn't gay. Well, that's what he told everyone. Secretly, he'd been lusting over Gareth. There was something about Gareth that Ezekiel couldn't describe. One day, Ezekiel and Gareth were sat at the canteen table. Everyone else had left, because they didn't like Ezekiel or Gareth. How sad. Ezekiel turned to Gareth, fiddling with his hair in a nervous way. He was going to tell him.  
"Gareth?" Ezekiel whispered, his spaceship shaped nose turning red in embarrassment. Gareth looked at the Smol child.   
"Yes, Ezekiel?" He answered. Ezekiel almost wee himself. Gareth was so sexy, even his voice could make him orgasm.  
"I-I...I WANT YOU TO BE MY DADDY!" He cried. Gareth just smirked.   
"Okay."  
And then they had sex on the canteen table. Paul, who everyone had forgotten was there, died of horror. Oh well. Never mind.   
Two weeks later, Ezekiel found out he was pregnant. Gareth killed himself.

 

The end.


End file.
